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Friends are the lifeblood to almost every aspect of life. They are there to pick you up when things go wrong. They are there to give support to your ideas. They are even there to put you in your place when needed. So why is it that people too often have problems working with or for their friends?

These problems tend to grow into a war, but why? Why is it, that you can have a perfectly ‘normal’ friendship, add a touch of partnership or a dash of freelance work and BAM you have yourself a recipe for war?

Have no fear, you can prevent forest fires World War III between you and your friends by sticking to the following:

1. Set Ground Rules
2. Keep the Fighting on the Battlefield
3. Develop an Exit Strategy

1. Set Ground Rules

I am a huge fan of the game Stratego. It is a game where there are two sides, one red and one blue. The game itself is pretty simple, each person takes one turn at a time and tries to capture the other person’s flag. The strategy starts when you set your pieces down, not as you play the game.

All games have rules outlining how to play the game. One of the first things you do when purchasing a new game is read the rules. What do you do when things go wrong in a game, thats right, you check the rule book. Apply this same principle to working with your friends or clients for that matter. Take the time to develop the rules. Here are a few ideas to help you start drafting your rule book:

• Who is in charge of what?
• What is expected?
• What do you do when _______ happens?
• How can we smoothly stop working together?

2. Keep the Fighting On the Battlefield

Don’t kid yourself. Whenever working with family or friends, a fight will happen. Be ready for it, know it is coming, and learn how to handle it effectively. When a battle rages on apply these do’s and don’ts for a better chance at effectively avoiding the war.
Don’ts:

• Dredge up the past. This will get you no where.
• Storm out of the room. Leaving the situation won’t make it go away.
• Throw your hands up in disgust and say, “I’ve had it, I quit!” In most cases, you really don’t mean it, so don’t say it.
• Think of ways to get even. It may temporarily feel good, but will certainly eat away what friendship existed.
• Apply the war to the friendship. You’ve heard “don’t bring work home” likewise don’t bring work into your friendship.

Do’s:

• Apologize. Yes, even if it’s not your fault.
• Discuss the situation as politely (and calmly) as possible. This will help you figure out what the root of the situation is so it can be addressed.
• Offer to help. Some battles begin when your friend is feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or confused.
• Take the rest of the day off. Head out for a drink or coffee with your friend. Clear your heads and get your mind off work. You’d be surprised how this can nurture the friendship and extinguish any battle flames.

3. Develop an Exit Strategy

If you can’t seem to work out your battle, what next? Make sure when you were developing your rule book that you have added some sort of exit strategy. This will provide a clean way out of the working relationship. Whether you’re doing freelance work for a friend or forming a company together it is necessary. Sometimes it is best to no longer be business partners or to do work for them, for the sake of your friendship. Believe it or not, friendships are more important than any business relationship. Business relationships come and go, but good friends are there for life and is worth protecting. So make sure there is an out for both parties involved.

Working for those within your network can be a great tool. It can open doors to new clients, new opportunities, and possibly even new friendships - so don’t blow it.

What have you learned from working with friends?

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